Tag Archives: life

Fall. Wild.

27 Aug

Today was the first summer day when I saw Autumn’s bannermen arrive: grapes ripening, Kinder surprise back in stores, mornings starting with rain and nightfall bringing that cold breeze that gives me shivers. For the first time ever, I like autumn.
As much as people say about spring that she comes with fresh starts, new projects and new goals to achieve, I find it more appropriate to calm down and think about career and life plans at the end of summer, when everything settles, when thoughts gain a sharp outline and the colder weather clears the mind.
I will make the most out of this autumn and I already made a promise to myself that, by the time the first snowflake arrives, I will be sure what I want to do next year.
I just came back from Amsterdam, a lovely city with a balanced vibe, however I can’t get my thoughts straight about anything I want to do. It’s like – the moment I set foot again in Romania my mind went back to chaos. Visiting Amsterdam for a week made me realise a few things about myself and my goals. I thought I had it all figured out, but I was wrong, I still have a lot of thinking to do.
Does the environment you live in reflect in how you think and act? I really think it does. The beautiful romanian chaos gives me a lot of good ideas and good vibes, but they are all accompanied by unsettling feelings, anxiety, insecurity and overthinking.
My thoughts to work on this fall are mainly the following: I have to leave this country for a while.
I have to develop my artistic side and turn it into my career.
I must focus on one thing at a time.
I must never stop doing what I want.
I must be out in the wild more often.

My thought of the night: night time is supposed to be special, cities bring too much altered light to it and so nature’s glow fades away, stars barely shine, the sound of nature is tuned down by sirens and honks…if I could, just for one night, I would turn off the city’s lights and sounds. How many would be scared to death? How many would enjoy the darkness and the silence?
I can’t get my mind around the fact that some people don’t like being out in the wild. I crave for the silence and the beauty of the forests I used to fear as a child, I wish to spend more time at the seaside or on the brink of a river, I want to spend summer nights cuddling under the clear sky, watching the moon rise and set while no artificial sound would interrupt nature’s sounds.

Why don’t people appreciate more this feeling of complete freedom? Are they more scared by their inner light or by the sound of their thoughts?

Until now, I haven’t found anything better than spending time in the wilderness, enjoying the silence and the pure beauty of remote places, far away from the city. Have you?

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When to listen? When to speak?

23 Jul

What’s wrong with you? What are you planning to do with your life? Why do you love this place? … if you had to answer at least one of these questions recently you know what I’m writing about. Sometimes I reply, sometimes I’m just tired to answer questions that don’t really need my reply. They may be parents, siblings, friends or strangers asking this, but no matter the answer I give, if they’re not open minded enough or at least willing to understand my explanation, I’m doing it in vain.

ImageI believe people are amazing in their differences, but if it were to put them in two categories, I would choose the fits and the misfits. It’s neither good or bad, it’s subjective and it mostly depends on each one’s point of view. Do I fit or not where I am now? I tend to think I don’t. However, changing the social background I might end up in a community where I’d fit perfectly. Would I be happier there? Who the fuck knows!

Everyone of us goes through the both categories mentioned earlier and they are usually analised by how much time they spend in general in one of them. Given a certain social situation, you either fit or don’t. You’re cool or just weird. At the end of the day, you can look back and see if the people you met today saw you more socially acceptable or just a quirky misfit. The next day you might be the opposite. Gathering all this feed-back, people make their own opinion about you: some of them stick the label from the first encounter, others pay a little more attention to your behaviour, but in the end you’re all socially tagged by everyone you know – it’s like wearing an invisible outfit made out of nametags.Image

Change is the most amazing social behaviour I know, sometimes it comes naturally, sometimes you have to force it, it’s a quick shift or a deep movement…whatever it’s like, people change and you have to deal with it. They may change for better, they may change for worse, be prepared. You also change, so don’t be surprised when people you’ve met a long time ago say with regret that you’re not the same person anymore. Live your life so you can answer proudly: of course I’m not the same, I’m much, much better.

‘Be yourself’ it’s sometimes the worst advice you can give to some people, I’d love to see encouragement when a good behaviour shows up and social punishment when devious acts appear. ImageBoth appreciation and critique should become part of our daily life, it’s up to us to change ourselves and other for the better, for instance: how many times did you point to a stranger that it’s wrong to toss an empty plastic bottle on the street? How many times did you congratulate someone on not littering cigarette bums on the street?
Speak up, people! That’s what makes the difference!
Paying attention to others, encouraging or correcting someone’s behaviour are equally important in everyday life if we want to see change happening.Image

Romania it’s the ultimate land of ignorance. No one gives a fuck about the people around them, they all live from one day to the other, exploiting the nature and this earth like they have another planet to live on.

You think this is true? Maybe. It’s the good and the bad kind of maybe, since Romania it’s not the only country where this happens, however, it’s a country where you also find people who care. A LOT of them. They’re just too shy and quiet. They think the worst about their neighbours and the society, judging solely based on the messages they receive from this sick media of ours. Proactivity is unknown to them, they settle for the average life standards and they build social walls around their families forgetting to put some windows to see that the walls other people build are made from the same material and inside those everyone has a beautiful garden.

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This amazing country I live in it’s in a metaphorically paradox of hell and paradise combined. People are beautiful, smart and powerful, but they forgot how to explore this about themselves. Each one has his secret garden getaway from the daily life, but when they look around they see only the walls others build, the same walls they’ve built, no windows, no doors, just dog shit and grim views.

Walls can be climbed, walls can be destroyed, walls fall.

It’s up to each and every one of us to get out of our comfort zone and see that we’re not that different. We should stop thinking negatively about others before we even interact with them.

Learn to LISTEN, learn to SPEAK. It’s that easy.

If you’re inclined to believe that everything is bad around you and everyone is mean and heartless, you will see that in every message that reaches up to you.
No one is born bad, everyone has a story they’re yearning to tell, but we all listen to little and when we do we only pretend to understand. I did that too, but I try to avoid doing it again in the future. Image
Tune down the voices in you head that say for instance that a tattooed young man is a loser and a pot head- that tattoo might honor his dead parents or a near death experience, he might be the future doctor who will save your kid’s life or your future son in law. Stop judging, start listening, this was just a random example, I bet you can find more.

This country of mine, full of don’t give a fuck-ers, is also the land of beautiful stories waiting to be discovered.

How can I ever hate this place who has so many amazing people to meet? You just thought of at least three reasons I should go away and never return, but I can look over the misery, the un-educated individuals, the corruption, the burdens of everyday life and the countless moments of “why am I still here?”, because at the end of the day, nothing can match finding someone like you to talk to, with good ideas to share, great advice to give and a lot of hopes for a better day.

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Take this as a thank you for meeting me and telling me your story. Thank you for being in my news feed, in the magazines I read, at the places I visit and in my daily life. And you are so many! How can I lose hope that Romania will get better when I see good ideas put into action everyday, positive feed back on social activities and many, oh-so-many, new faces that get involved in their community, bringing good vibes and smiles for everyone?

We are the power, we are many and we can change together for the better, just listen to the people around you, get to know them and realise you are NOT alone…

..then speak up your mind and act accordingly!

If you’re also addicted to collecting inspirational photos, have some of my favorites on this subject 🙂
Save them and read them again sometime!

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The Dilemma of assh*les

7 Nov

I have some sort of a dilemma that’s been haunting me for a while and I’m sure you beautiful readers of mine have it too. How come I always get the wrong kind of attention?

Consider the following premises [subjectivity is implied] : i think of myself as an attractive young woman and I’ve been reminded of that by many people. I usually love to be given a compliment because I’m what you may call an attention-wh*re and I thankfully offer a compliment back. I rarely go out without make-up or in sport clothes, so you see me around in skirts and dresses with pretty-face make-up on. Now, let me tell you something about Romania, or at least about Bucharest. No offense, but this country/city has a LOT of beautiful girls and a whole lot more ugly men. You walk the streets and you turn your head around to admire at least 10 girls on a large boulevard but you see a really HANDSOME man so rare that you may think they’re part of an extinct species. I will never say this is entirely true, but it has been confirmed in the last months so often that it really makes me sad to write about.

Therefore, in the streets of this lovely Bucharest, a lot of individuals don’t know how to approach a lady. They yell, they shout, they bark[!], they whistle, they harrass, they invade personal space, they treat women like animals or objects, they make embarassing remarks and they insist…over and over again with the same behaviour. I am tired of looking good for a bunch of assholes. Don’t get me wrong, I love MEN, but these people I was talking about are so close to animals that it scares me.

Going back to my dilemma, the inner restless question is: What is to be done when you get involved in this kind of situation? How do you protect yourself from the urban jungle??

And more important, at what cost you dress up beautiful, for yourself?